We have just been informed that John Hay, the United States Secretary of State, has created a new policy with regard to China, the Open Door Policy. In conjunction with Great Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Russia, and the evil Japanese, all powers to which Hay sent Open Door Notes, the United States has decided that it has the power to regulate trade within our mother nation.

The first point of Hay's policy is that each of the major Western powers who falsely believe themselves to "have a share in" our nation have decided to give all of their cruel, imperialist cronies free access to interests such as ports, interests that are really ours anyhow (1).

The policy's second point is that only our Chinese government can collect taxes on trade (2). This would be a benefit for us, except our current Manchu government is so weak and corrupt that the Chinese people are never going to see any of the money collected. These foreign devils are just trying to prevent any of their money from going toward actually helping our people; instead, they are propping up this sham excuse for a government that lets them continue their sordid activities and their exploitation of the Chinese people. Chang Bao, a young girl we found sitting by the side of the road, lamented, "They took me away from my hometown and sent me to do grueling fieldwork under the boiling sun!"

The third and final point of the Open Door Policy is that none of the imperialist powers with so-called "spheres of influence" can be considered exempt from harbor, railroad, or other taxes (3). This, too, at first seems to be a positive effect for the Chinese people, but if we look at this part of the policy more closely, we see that the imperialist powers are simply going to be paying taxes to each other, not China. As a result, this part of the policy is just a way for the Europeans and the Japanese to keep money flowing between themselves.

Many Chinese are wondering why the United States would even want to initiate such a policy when they don't even possess a sphere of influence in our nation. The answer is that the United States started such a policy because they do not have a sphere of influence here. Having few interests within our nation, the United States started to worry that the other foul imperialist powers would block ports in China from American goods, and as a result they instituted this policy. Apparently, they succeeded in their plot, and they were able to fix the terms of the policy with the rest of the imperial powers. Clearly, the United States set up this system to open China's doors to American goods, but not to China's advantage (4).

We were able to obtain a political cartoon from a recent United States newspaper. This cartoon is only one of many, our reporters were able to find several others. However, this cartoon best demonstrates the arrogant attitude the United States has regarding this policy. The inscription on the stone propping the door open reads, "U.S. Army and Navy Prestige." Obviously, the seeming success of the American Open Door Policy has only added to the unwarranted airs of haughty superiority that this pitiful nation has put on for years. The Chinese populace agrees, including Xhi Chao, a peasant laborer. Upon seeing that cartoon, he exclaimed, "Those dirty foreign devils! They can't understand that we are the jewel of Asia; we don't need them meddling in our affairs. Our army and navy are far superior to theirs; we will crush their military."

It is absolutely ridiculous for our government to even consider acquiescing to the demands and policies of these inferior Western nations. If we put ourselves in a position even remotely subservient to these other countries, we will lose the status and honor so cherished by our people. Our autonomy will be destroyed and we will become dependents, forced to submit to others. For Mother China's sake, we must not give in.

(Note: Quotations are fictitious and were created from information found in the sources listed below.)

Sources

1. Jane Plotke, "The First Open Door Note," [http://www.lib.byu.edu/~rdh/wwi/1914m/opendoor.html], February 15, 1996.

2. Ibid.

3. Ibid.

4. Steven Warshaw, China Emerges (Berkeley: Diablo Press, 1964), 81.

5. Encyclopedia Britannica Online, 2001 ed., s.v. "Open Door policy."

6. Encyclopedia Britannica Online, 2001 ed., s.v. "United States, history of - The Open Door in the Far East."

7. Encyclopedia Britannica Online, 2001 ed., s.v. "colonialism - The Open Door Policy"

Images:

1. John Hay Cigars, "About John Hay," [http://www.johnhaycigars.com/aboutus.htm], n.d.

2. Jim Zwick, "The Open Door Policy - Charles Bartholomew (Bart)," [http://www.boondocksnet.com/gallery/us_000100a.html], n.d.